Saturday, July 11, 2015

I Smell Like A Peanut Butter Sandwich

There are only a few things that excite me when fetching the mail. Unexpected packages. Bodacious Thank You cards and notes. And, wait for it, Bath & Body Works coupons. Yes. Those coupons for free products, 20% off purchases including their buy-3-get-3-free promotions and $10 off $20 have me doing cartwheels back to the front porch.

Okay, so maybe not cartwheels. That wouldn't end well for me.

Last week, Lisa retrieved the mail after arriving home from work. I immediately spotted it. The tiny coupon packet to Bath & Body Works. I felt the little rush of excitement flow through my body as I scanned over the coupons. However, the Bath & Body Works buzz faded quickly. There would be no mad dash to the nearest location 15 minutes away. I wouldn't have to make room for the 2 bags of new scents. I'm almost ashamed at how many bottles I once acquired. Now, it's withered down to only a few.

This has been the case for almost 2 years now...

What could possibly break up my love affair with anything and everything Bath & Body Works? Three words. Bodacious. Biscuit. Love. Dousing myself with fragrant sprays and slathering my hands and arms with scented lotions is not an option when baking or handling biscuits. And, because said two activities occur almost every day of the week, Bath & Body Works sits on the bathroom shelf. Unused. Except on the rare occasion of a biscuit-free day.

Although I miss the cloud of fragrance I used to leave behind after a good spritz-down, I'm not complaining. 

Over the span of spreading biscuit love for almost-2-years, other love affairs have (almost) ended as well...

1. My nail polish addiction has simmered down quite a bit. The fingernails used to be freshly polished several times a week. The bathroom shelf was filled with seasonal colors and jars of topcoat sparkles. I spend a good chunk of the day and evening at my desk...typing. I couldn't stand the sight of chipped or faded nail polish. If I had to look at my fingers all day, they were going to look fabulous. And, they did. Past tense. I haven't slathered my nails with polish in almost 2 years. Peanut butter dough and nail polish don't mix. I do, however, still paint my toenails.

2. The lengthy locks very seldom hang free. I've got long hair. Very. Long. Hair. Most of the time, regardless of the season, my head of wavy hair used to hang free. Now, it's always tied up in a sloppy bun...for obvious reasons. What I've noticed while doing this is I'm often unaware of how long it's gotten. The other night I took my hair down before showering and the longest layer is almost to my waist. Time. For. A. Trim.

3. The jewels are tucked away. I never over-accessorized with jewelry pieces, but I have a small collection of handmade jewelry I enjoyed wearing along with my engagement and wedding band. Sterling silver only. Natural, untreated stones. No diamonds. Nothing fancy. Yet, it was enough to make me feel spruced up. Girly. The engagement and wedding ring was a sweet reminder of the day we said our vows. Unfortunately, working with dough and wearing rings and bracelets isn't compatible.

4. I'm always sportin' the same 5-or-so shirts. Skippy Natural Peanut Butter has a different consistency than most peanut butters. It's a little oilier. This is one of the reasons why it's the only brand we'll use. It makes a really great biscuit, but it leaves an oily residue on surfaces, my hands, the rolling pin and cookie cutters. This oil gets on my shirts. Oil does not wash out. So, I have faint peanut butter oil stains on about a half dozen shirts. These are the shirts I wear on days we bake. The positive side to this? I haven't spent a great deal of money on new shirts. The downside? People I see frequently must think I own a total of 5 shirts.

It's funny...the other day I was looking at old photos from several summers ago. There I was. Tanned. My neatly groomed, beach-curls-head-of-hair flowing down my back. New skirt. New shirt. Simple jewelry to match. A little makeup. I'm certain if photos were scratch-n-sniff, you could take a whiff and inhale the sweet summer fragrances of Bath & Body Works.

Nowadays, I smell like a peanut butter sandwich. The fragrance is always in the air and, by now, I'm sure it's a permanent pore dweller. I've had a few people eye my ring-less hands and nonchalantly inquire about my relationship status. I'm willing to bet there are hoomans who wonder if I'm providing refuge for small endangered species in the gigantic mound of hair atop my head. And, I suspect to wake up one morning to find clothing donations on the front porch.

Despite the sacrifices and being an ideal candidate for What Not To Wear, I wouldn't change a thing. No regrets. My flip-flopped feet are on the ground. Face forward. Onward march.

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